Six years ago you were born at 06.55 in the morning.
Totally unexpected and too soon…
I was only in my 32nd week of my pregnancy.
You did well, my little girl, but not good enough.
That’s why the doctors decided to bring you to a universital hospital.
When we arrived there it took such a long time before we could see you again.
We were so scared when we saw you covered by a green surgery towel.
Daddy took me in his arms and started to cry.
It was the only time I saw your daddy cry.
The doctors put a sign “minimal touch” on your bed.
We couldn’t touch you because you were too fragile.
In the beginning you needed medicins more then milk.
Therefor Emma, I want to say sorry.
Sorry that I couldn’t keep you longer with me,
that I couldn’t overload you with cuddles and kisses.
Sorry that you had medicins for breakfast, lunch and dinner,
that I had to leave you every night all by yourself.
Sorry that I couldn’t keep you warm enough.
And sorry for blowing out all the candles I collected while you were in the hospital.
Because when you finally got home, your temperature was too low
and we had to bring you back to the hospital.
I felt so useless, like I couldn’t take care of you.
It felt like you & I weren’t meant to be.
You stopped breathing and we bagged to bring you back to the universital hospital.
There u stayed for another week in quarantaine.
Ever since that time I have mixed feelings about blowing a candle.
But today, my lovely Emma, you can blow!
Today you are a big and very clever girl.
You fight for every little thing you want to achieve.
You know what you want and no matter what you will go for it!
I never planned writing about this memory but one day you’ll be curious
and after you’ll read this, our band can only get stronger.
Emma, you will always be my little fighter…
Fabric: Stoffencircus Pattern: based on "Stof Voor Durf-het-zelvers 2"